Why try to be the driver if you are invited to be the passenger?

Dear friends,

It’s the colder season. It’s time to withdraw, to reflect, to incubate, and to make our houses cosy. Metaphorically. And also literally.

And so, a few weeks ago, at Amiglia, we were laying a wooden floor in my apartment, on an insulating layer of cork, laid on the very cold tiles of the house as it was. As we were emptying the bedroom, Lloyd and I looked at the wardrobe and agreed that the old and cheap Ikea model wasn’t worth saving and putting back after we had laid the beautiful oak planks on the floor. I didn’t have any other wardrobe, but it was decided to deconstruct the old one and move it to the barn.

The next day, as we were finishing laying the planks in the bedroom, I received a message from Armin: “Would you be interested in this wardrobe? I can bring it when I come tomorrow,” including two images of a wooden wardrobe, just the kind I liked – and somehow needed.

So, the next day, while we were laying the planks in the living room, Armin was putting together a wardrobe in my bedroom.

This is just a little story. But it’s a nice example of the miracle of trusting and surrendering, of not wanting to control but to allow. Of not wanting to decide but to observe. For me, it really feels like Life is organising itself, and if I listen well, it tells me what to do. I wholeheartedly choose to hand over control, to just be available, because I experience how inventive, creative, unexpected and generous that Life is. I only have to follow.

Right now, I am in Tuscany for two weeks, in a small and charming town called Lucca. In the morning I go to Italian classes; in the afternoon, I work, walk, and wonder – while going out, for example, to fill my glass bottles at the fountain at the end of the road. I am having the kind of life here that, sure, I have dreamed of before: easy, interesting and beautiful. I thank the one that makes this possible every day – the one that Life made me meet last summer. And I thank inventive, creative, unexpected and generous Life for being … so inventive, creative, unexpected and generous.

And all it takes is nothing. Maybe thanking helps. I do it a lot, and it’s only self-enhancing; it’s a very nice thing to do. And it takes letting go of wanting to be the driver, wanting to control, wanting things to be different, thinking there is anything else than this present moment.

And I know, we are often too confused, wounded, and ‘trapped’ to be so simply present, trusting and surrendering.

Maybe that’s why Life made use of me (and others by now!) to create Amiglia. A place where we can remember how it is to live naturally, to trust and surrender, and become available for that inventive, creative, unexpected and generous Life to find us.

While I have been withdrawing, a calendar with retreats in 2026 has unfolded. Find it here. I wish for you to live the life you once dreamed of. I’d love to welcome you at Amiglia.

Loving,
Z.

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